Thursday, February 11, 2010

some quote from some song

I have been finding myself reading old journal entries, the written kind that is.

It is an interesting emotional experience. Sometimes it produces nostalgia, and sometimes just a sense of loss and pain. Then again, it can cause me to laugh at my pure lack of imaginative thought. (Much like this blog post I suppose)

Anyway, the particular entries I have perused through recently have inspired in me a certain amount of sadness. I cant say why I continue reading them considering the fact, yet I do. I wonder to what degree we as humans enjoy our own suffering? Lets be honest though, we must like it on some level because we always go back in one form to a memory of it in our past/lives. I suppose it makes us feel alive? Or real? Who knows... All I know of these said entries is that they cause me to miss and regret. Some people don't believe in regret, but I do. Those are the same people who say that every mistake they made they don't feel bad about because they "learned" something. Blah blah blah--- mistakes should not just make you learn something, they should also remind you of your fallibility as a person- which in turn should produce a bad feeling. Maybe that is a masochistic train of thought, but it is what is. Either way, I regret. I don't necessarily allow that regret to consume me or control my future decision making, but it does occasionally bring up sad memories. Memories of a happier time or place.(before fallibility kicked in that is)

I guess all I can say of my recent adventure into diary-land is that I am glad I have gained wisdom, but not thrilled about the trade-in. Its a jaded world---

1 comment: